My best piece I've written: 25 July 2020 | Deeper | Post

I've always said that the number 7 is my favourite number. But it was for insignificant reasons. Today the number 25 has entered the ranks as my most valuable number.

I was born on the 25th, my nephew's (he's really special to me) birthday is on the 25th, and the 25th has now become the day I discovered my purpose (I literally smiled as I typed the last part).

This is a pretty special day for me.

It is really special because I spent the bulk of my years in search of this moment: the moment where I would discover my purpose.

I spent years of my life feeling frustrated, unfulfilled and feeling like giving up. I have always believed that I was called for a bigger purpose.

My frustrations were rooted in the fact that I was going about life using up precious time on everything but what I was supposed to be doing.

There were also secondary insecurities rooted in it, such as the fear of doing something and later discovering that it is not what I was supposed to do; or realising that what I chose to do was not what makes me come alive.

How did I discover my purpose?

About 24 months ago, things started to shift in me.

I had done everything in my power. I had searched, I had researched, and I had consumed myself in the quest but I was left with nothing to show for it.

So I decided to let it all go. It was actually the only option I felt like I had at the time.

I had done everything in my knowledge to find my purpose. I had also tried the things people told me to do.

I can still recall thinking to myself that I had nothing more to lose if I stopped the search because it was not as if I had gained anything much through the search itself.

I had held on tightly, but it was time to try a different strategy: let go.

You find yourself when you're willing to lose yourself.

Suddenly that scripture makes sense to me now.

It wasn't until I surrendered my knowledge, my plans and every other thing I was holding tightly onto that things started to become clear to me.

I needed to make room for God to do for me, what only He could do.

When it rains, it pours.

When I let go, knowledge of 'me-ness' started to come through, and it came flowing in abundance.

I learnt about myself,

I learnt about my potential,

But I think what really moved things was the realisation that God actually has a plan for my life.

Yeah sure, I had heard of that several times, but seeing it come alive was an experience I could never describe.

The peace that came with knowing that I didn't need to have everything figured out because there is Someone greater who has it all figured out. Someone who has my best interest at heart. Someone who has plans for my life that are so much greater, that my brain can barely begin to comprehend.

The more I was willing to let go,

and the more I was willing to trust,

and the more I was willing to listen,

the more things became clear.

I started to see,

I became more aware,

and I started to hear.

Then, I just needed to make the courage moves in the direction of the instructions.

And that is how I discovered my purpose.