Show up for yourself | Doing the uncomfortable | Post

Hmmm... I actually do not know where to begin this post.

And it's not because I haven't written on here in a while, but rather it's because of just how long I had to wait for my internet connection to successfully give me the opportunity to start writing. Disappointing.

The lie

And, I guess that's really what this post is about. It's about the resistance I have experienced with my writing, even if it's all been 'made-up' resistance: from my skepticism about showing too much of myself, to the suspicious 'is there any benefit to this blog writing thing,' to an outright doubt of my writing abilities.

This has pretty much been what my writing journey has consisted of for the last 15 years or so.

I guess that in itself should have been proof enough to me of just how big this gift is that I'm carrying.

Cause when resistance is at its highest, it's often a sign that you're about to step into your greatest!

I think that we often forget that, though. I think we forget how all of this is really a gift.

We forget how much of a miracle it is that we were even birthed; the number of factors that had to come into play for us to be here. And even just the fact that we are still here today when there are so many factors that could prevent us from being (e.g a pandemic).

Just how easily we will allow the evils one to play with our minds, and our destinies.

Cause, I mean, truth is that absolutely no one can ever take our purpose away from us... except us, of course.

We can rally up a bunch of excuses why we're not good enough, smart enough, big enough to walk in our purpose. Almost as if we believe that our purpose will one day step into us and that we'll wake up suddenly feeling good enough, smart enough, and whatever other enough we are looking for.

We're oblivious to the fact that everything that we need for this moment has already been placed in us; ours is to be courageous enough to walk out into the raging seas and walk. Ours is to trust that the hand that called us into the sea, will also be the hand that will sustain us out in the waters.

Okay. Let me stop now.

The truth

But, I guess that's the point I found myself at today.

I felt the nudge to write on here again. And then I started racking up the excuses one-by-one. As I went through each and every one of them though, I realised that they could be nothing further from the truth.

1. There's so much power and relatability that comes with being seen. Vulnerability is a strength, never a weakness. That's exactly why it's so hard to do.

2. I have had the opportunity to work on amazing projects. Stuff that I could have only dreams of. And all of this was cultivated during the writing sessions.

3. I ain't even going to talk about my lack of writing skills. It's weird how I'm the only person who has ever believed that I genuinely cannot write. We are our biggest critics, yo!

For me, it took me having to sit down with myself, and ask: are you doing everything you know you ought to be doing right now?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to die and realise that there was so much more I was supposed to have done and experienced in this world; but that I didn't because I was too afraid.

That would be a shame!

So here I am, going against all my fears and excuses, and choosing to show up for myself even when it feels uncomfortable.

I hope you will do the same.

I hope you will choose to show up for yourself today.